Hello and Frosty Grassy Munchies to one and all.
This morning I pulled every trick out of my hairy feathers to avoid being head collared and ridden by Kat.
Me and my pals were happily topping up our hay levels with a lovely new bale when I caught her out of the corner of my eye.
She was striding across the field, armed with the head collar and that ‘we’re going riding’ manner. It’s very different to the ‘I’m just here to give you your lovely soggy grassy munchies, a good scratch and be on my way’ walk.
Well, I’m sorry, but I just wasn’t feeling it today. However, I did want my breakfast. It was a situation that required quick thinking on my hoofs and a good deal of my resourceful stealth and cunning.
Kat waited at the gate with my breakfast but I stood my ground in the middle of the field. Eventually, she bought the bucket to me; still armed with the dreaded head collar and making a lousy attempt to hide it. Really? With my 6 senses am I actually going to be fooled by the old head collar round the back trick?
Anyway, my nifty technique involved circling the bucket just out of her reach. With my mouth as wide open as possible, I would take a swift and stealthy dive at the bucket and grab as much grassy soggy munchies as possible. I then quickly hot hoofed it out of her reach and continued with the circling. This proved quite successful. For about 3 decent mouthfuls.
Kat then switched position and barred the access to my breakfast. Can I just repeat that. MY breakfast! Every time I tried to get to it, she kept blocking me. So now she was circling the bucket! This really was turning into a right old debacle.
Not one to be defeated, I eventually found an opening and went in. I was just managing to get some pretty decent mouthfuls when WHAM, head collar was on. Foiled! How in the blazing green grasses did that happen!?
Between you and me though, I am quietly optimistic about being able to improve this cunning trick and have stored it up my extremely hairy feathers for another day.
For this day I had to accept defeat and off we went to meet Aunty Tills.
We had a long ride through the woods in a really cold wind, but as usual we were kept moving and got nice and warm.
I could happily bet all the blades of grass in my field that Kat will dismount as soon as we get into these woods and have a not so discreet loo stop. This usually happens after our first vigorous trot and today was no exception. Sara says Kat has a bladder the size of a Terry’s Chocolate Orange. I tend to agree, although I have no idea what one is. Or who Terry is.
When we got back to my field I was poised for the ‘you’re such a good clever girl, here have a lovely hay cob’ moment when up the road came this lot!
They were adorned with such impressive sparkly frippery and finery and off to something called The Pub. I reckon I might have been a bit more obliging earlier on if Kat had got me an invite to this Pub and dressed me up all shiny and sparkly. I think she really needs to do better and consider my feelings a bit more.
I must admit though, once I was back in the field, I soon forgot all about the frippery and finery and had the most glorious roll in the mud.
I then set about making up for the last 3 hours with some vigorous hay munching – and plotting how to triumph next time with the head collar avoidance trick.