Monthly Archives: March 2020

The Loo Roll Crisis

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So, here’s a turn up for the hoof. On our training session today Tills and I discovered we might not be going on our trail riding holiday in May.

Apparently, there’s some kind of human crisis in the world and it’s got something to do with loo rolls.

So, instead of going on holiday and riding us all day, every day for 3 whole days, turns out the plan is to stay at home – and ride us all day, every day, for 3 whole days.

And, instead of carrying their underwear and toothpaste we are going to be carrying their food. If the lengthy deliberations on what to take are anything to go by, there will be much of it.

Anyone would think they’re using food to make up for the disappointment of not going on holiday… Who would do that?

They’re also planning on bringing G & T to these holiday substitute day rides. I don’t know who G & T are, but I reckon our group of 4 is fine how it is. Then I found out G & T could fit in the saddle bags, so they must be really small. I just hope they don’t cause us any bother – me and Tills have enough to cope with already with our humans.

Eventually Kat and Sara had to stop wittering on about food and riding us into the ground, and just focus on riding us – it was cold and blustery, so Tills and I were on high alert.

You can see my blond locks being blown about below.

The noise of the wind always pushes us closer to flight mode in case it stops us hearing predators creeping up. Then the leaves and branches blowing around need closer inspection than usual – just to make sure they’re the only thing moving about.

On this blustery outing we also went past the Donkey Derby field. This is where two cheeky Donkeys like to run along the fence line of their field while me and Tills go past.

I haven’t got any photos of them to show you as Kat is always too busy trying to stop me joining in the Derby. It’s quite fun as it’s a very long field…

This is Tills having a good drink while we’re out. Drinking from puddles is a key criteria for being a fully qualified trail riding horse. I personally avoid them – wouldn’t want to encourage Kat too much.

So, the loo roll crisis. Apparently, humans won’t be able to hang out with each other but they’re okay being with their animals (shame, a nice sabbatical from training would have been lovely).

Humans have also stopped using the big metal birds for travel and there isn’t as much human goings on in general.

Horses are deeply intertwined with nature and we can feel her breathing a sigh of relief for this temporary pause in human activity.

In-fact, we can just feel her breathing.

Stay safe and well humans – we need you for our soggy grassy munchies.

GMFN

F x

The Goo Factor

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The male human that can talk Horse visited recently. He told Kat I wasn’t gooey enough on the inside and we need to work on improving my goo factor.

Now, he’s not making much sense here in Horse or Human language, so I’d better explain.

Gooey means soft. There is no question about my softness on the outside with my wonderful abundance of silky hair. When it comes to Kat and humans though apparently, I’m lacking softness on the inside.

Softness on the inside of a horse is a wonderful mix of calm and total trust with our human. We are happy to offer all of ourselves willingly without any resistance. When both horse and human are soft together true magic can be achieved. It’s an overwhelming feeling of pure connection and peace for both.

This is what Ross, the horse talker, means with gooey on the inside.

I’m not completely sure why I’m not gooey on the inside. I think it’s because I’ve never had a human listen to me before or ask my permission to do things with me.

I usually go along with what humans ask of me anyway as that’s the kind of good-natured, stoic Cob I am. It would be nice to be asked sometimes though. Plus, the difference of going along with things grudgingly or gooily is huge.

Kat and Echo were a big gooey puddle together. Ross thinks Kat perhaps isn’t gooey enough with me either because she’s still missing Echo too much and not giving me all of herself.

A high goo factor

To help increase my goo factor Ross is teaching Kat to speak and understand Horse. She should then know if I’m ready and relaxed enough to do what she’s asking and if I’m doing it gooily instead of grudgingly.

If she can help me improve my goo, perhaps hers will as well.

For my first lesson I had to follow Ross and Kat by reading their body language. Ross spoke clear Horse so that was easy whereas Kat just mumbled and was a bit rubbish. I think Ross will sort her out though.

  • trail horse ground work
 

My only concern with this plan is they are cutting out my treats so they know I’m not faking gooeyness for the sake of a few hay cobs, (to be fair, I would do this).

I am however 6 now, so I’ve decided to be very grown up and work with them to try and increase my goo factor.

Back-up plan though if all fails is obviously the faking it.

GMFN

F x

Wobbly Bottom

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Well, my days with Kat just keep getting stranger and stranger.

She put this blue coat on me the other morning.

Do I look good in this blue coat? No, I look bloody ridiculous!

Kat said rain was forecast and my own coat needed to be dry as someone called Physiotherapist was coming to check my back.

We horses need our backs checking now and again because we aren’t designed to carry humans and it can sometimes make us sore. The only thing we would be unlucky enough to carry on our backs in the wild is a lion – before it drags us down for dinner.

Physiotherapist felt all over my neck, back and general bum vicinity (yes, I know).

I was starting to feel all nice and sleepy when I heard the words ‘wobbly bottom’.

Physiotherapist was saying the left side of my bum wasn’t as wobbly as the right side and they both needed to be equally wobbly. I was just starting to quite like her.

I always thought I was the proud owner of a peachy, pert posterior. To discover it’s not only wobbly, but uneven in it’s wobbliness, is pretty shattering.

See any wobble?

Then she pressed all around the none wobbly left side until she was satisfied it had reached an equal level of wobbliness to the right side.

Then – and you’re not going to believe this – she showed Kat how to do a wobble test on the left side – just to make sure it didn’t lose any of its new found wobbliness.

I was an ergot away from retreating to my happy place, where these insults couldn’t reach me, when Kat put my mind to rest.

She said wobbly was good as it meant my muscles were nicely relaxed and working properly. Not wobbly meant they were too tight and needed releasing a bit. Then she reassured me my bottom was perfectly peachy, wobbly or not.

Just when I was starting to get all sleepy again, Physiotherapist told Kat I might need some schooling. What? Why? I don’t think I’ve been overly naughty lately?

Apparently, the schooling she means is going round and round in circles and other fun (yes, again, I know) shapes in the building with sand on the floor.

Kat did promise Physiotherapist she would do this but the look on her face said differently. She prefers straight lines in the great outdoors, like me.

Once all the rubbing, massaging and general wobbling was done, this very strange afternoon was rounded off in a nice way. Physiotherapist showed Kat how to do some stretching exercises – with treats!

Every day I have to stretch 5 times on each side of my body and be justly rewarded with a hay cob when I try really hard.

I’m going to be trying really, really hard. A lot.

GMFN

F x